Why I Didn’t Love Planning My Own Wedding and What I Learned in the Process

Guest: Kristina Scott | Makeup Artist | Beauty by Kristina Scott

Confession time: I really did not love planning my wedding *GASP!*. Unlike my friend Ashley, the wonderful wedding planner extraordinaire here at Toney Consulting, I do not have that organizer-planner-delegator gene. But I had to be the one leading the way in designing and planning my big day.

Do I regret it? Not really. Would I do some things differently if I could go back in time? Oh yes!

It would be unfair to not highlight that I wasn’t totally alone, and it did take a small village to create our beautiful wedding. It was beautiful and, to my surprise, perfect. I am so incredibly blessed to know some gifted people - friends and family - who provided their talents and time to help with design, florals, food and other little details.

But not everybody has the privilege of personally knowing a florist or a caterer or a baker, who also happen to understand your vision. I am very very lucky!

And even with all that said, the process of wedding planning took quite a toll on my mental and physical wellbeing. I can’t tell you how many times I dreamt at night that maybe when I woke up, it would finally be over, and it would be the day after my wedding, and I wouldn’t have to live and breathe wedding planning and Pinterest boards anymore. But day after day for months, I worried myself to tears with budgets, vendors and timelines.

Here are the 5 main reasons why I didn’t love planning my wedding, and the lessons I learned along the way:

We had a short engagement and were on a tight budget.

That was because I was a newly graduated international student living and working multiple jobs in Seattle, WA at the time. Money was limited, and we had to speed up our engagement to meet an immigration deadline. Also, my fiancé and I were apart because he is an Army officer and was going through a Captains Career Course in Fort Benning, GA. That made it really hard to enjoy our engagement.

All of that caused me to constantly worry about running out of time, stress about not getting RSVPs and vendor replies in time and, of course, worry whether we were going to go broke in the process. I had to be picky about what I spent time and money on and learned to make decisions quickly.

Lesson: Make a calendar of deadlines and follow it. Don’t worry about bugging people to get back to you, they can deal. Have a strict realistic budget, and please make a spreadsheet of it! Pick a few things that are most important to you about your wedding day and prioritize them financially and time-wise. For me it was photography, the venues, music and the decor of the reception venue.

Planning a wedding seemed like a huge responsibility to please and impress my guests.

I couldn’t stand the thought of embarrassing myself in front of friends and family by having an unorganized or less-than-beautiful event, or forgetting to take care of something they would expect to see. I worried about what people would think about me not incorporating some things we couldn’t afford or didn’t make time for. All I wanted was for my guests to really enjoy it!